Individual Tutorial 5

Summary of Feedback Sheet

• Structure needs refining. 
• Good use of theories within practical work. 
• Find some branding and marketing strategies to use in writing (chapter 4).
• Logical argument.
• Good evaluation of sources to develop ideas. 
• Practical research is developing well. 
• Theory and research based, practical work is taking shape. 
• Very good organisation.
• Structure needs more work. 
• Resolutions taking shape. 
• Virtue signalling - making a 'socially responsible' product marketable to an audience.
• Range and product - a packaged lifestyle. 
• I can use quotes in my introduction, just don't go into depth. Use it to say who, what how and why. 

Additional Feedback from Tutorial

• I only need to focus on one issue now I have done the experimentation and realised that one has a lot more potential than the others. 
• The imagery I have made for the dementia issue is the most 'me'. The other two concepts seem a little forced and it shows that maybe I'm not as comfortable working in these ways. 
• Pete suggested making work that explains the issue I am getting at with my practical but I still think the proposed product range shows my idea in the most effective way. I don't want to be having the same problem I have faced other years when I find myself just illustrating my essay. I want to use what I have learnt from my research and put this to use in the creation and contextualisation of my own imagery. 
• Could I do primary research? Yes, when I go home for Christmas I will be able to get some photographs and potentially talk to some dementia care staff. I feel like this will be quite primary research based anyway as I already have a strong personal understanding of the issue but I suppose this is hard to evidence.
• Extra things to research - Marx, neoliberalism, environmentalism, pre-traumatic stress, community breakdown, marketing theories. 

Response

I feel a lot better about getting on with my practical work now I have a focus for it. I think the next step for me is to see how my sketchbook work can be translated onto products, learn from this process and start to develop my idea into something stronger. 

I know that my essay needs to be edited a lot, especially the sentence structure and the tone that I write in. I am going to focus on getting all these extra snippets of research in place and then go through the whole thing and continually revise it to the point where I am happy with the way that it is written. I understand what Pete means that I need to make statements rather than forming unnecessarily long sentences that effectively say the same thing. 

I also need to carry through the theories from my main theorists through he whole of my essay and not just in chapter two. This will show that I do have a coherent argument and it will also help me to show synthesis with my research and my reflective practice.